Here's a movie worth watching:

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio

It stars Julianne Moore and Woody Harrelson.

Based on a true story, this is a narrative told by a fifties' housewife who wrote prize-winning jingles to support 10 kids and a short-tempered drunkard for a husband.

The original novel was written by Terry Ryan, one of the 10 kids.

Here are some tips on how to become the perfect wife. and here's a parody. Make of these links as you will.

My grandmother used to say, "Make use of all the advice you can get from your age and from the ages." Outdated or not, side by side Three Guineas, That Feminine Mystique and The Second Sex on my shelf are the following books:

1. The Art of the Table by Baroness Suzanne von Drachenfels

2. Etiquette by Emily Post, or any edition of her letters, dining, style and entertainment books

3. anything by Edith Wharton, and ESPECIALLY, The Age of Innocence.

Based on the *wisdom* of the above-listed books, including Woolf, Friedan and de Beauvoir, I've devised this list of "grandmotherly" advice:

Horses sweat, while ladies glisten. (Thank you, Andy.)

Work as hard as you must, but let your achievement look effortless. (Roughly by Baltasar Gracian)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." – Eleanor Roosevelt

"Curtsy while you're thinking of something to say. It saves time." – Lewis Carroll. My idea of a curtsy is a modest but firm handshake upon introductions. )

Babies cry, while ladies dab their eye. (Something Edith Wharton would have told me, I suppose.)

NO MORE TEARS – says every Johnson's Baby Shampoo bottle.

P.S. I have one more book missing; my grandmother gave it to me when I was ten, because she didn't want to talk to me about puberty or relationships. I suppose she didn't know how and wasn't about to consult "modern-day" guides; or perhaps she wanted me to find out for myself. Anyway, the book is called FRANKLY FEMININE, and it seems to be out of print. It's a hard-bound book that contains everything from dresses, stitches, table- and flatware to handling relationships. I lent it to a "boyish" friend of mine back in Grade 6, but she never gave it back to me. If you ever find an olive-green hardbound book with the same title at Book Sale or any second-hand book store, please buy it for me, and I'll pay you back. Thank you.