A quote from English novelist Julian Barnes:

"Don't misunderstand me. I'm not one of those women who 'likes to be dominated.' The idea of a man storming into my life and taking control and sorting me out is not one of my fantasies. I'd rather sort myself out. And I don't like bullies, or defer to them. I'm talking about something different, about that moment when someone is suddenly there, and says, without using the words, 'It's me. It's you. That's all there is to say.' As if some vast truth is being guessed at before your eyes, and all you have to do is reply. 'Yes, I think it's true too.'

Not all guys cherish the eternity of romantic moments when such things are said. Some of them shift their gaze and look askance while cracking a joke; others make silly faces to ruin the moment.

At times, I wish they would just hold it and establish the connection. Perhaps one has watched too many chick flicks. Then again, maybe men are scared of being vulnerable, too.

In any case, the excerpt is taken from Barnes' Love, Etc. which is a sequel to Talking It Over.

Here's an essay about the male gaze, (le regard) as coined by French psychoanalytical intellectual Jacques Lacan. Do females gaze with the same objectifying intent? This essay explores the issue. And when women gaze at men, how do they purportedly think? Lacan's student Julia Kristeva collects some thoughts.

Forget about who's looking. Notes on the gaze by Daniel Chandler here.